Yesterday I took the car and went to Amsterdam for the day with marouf to show him around and all the things you can do in Amsterdam. We ofcourse paid the redlightdistrict a visit and the Dam square and all the other things…we went to Van Gogh’s museum and viewed all the paintings there. On the way back in the car, by the way did I mention we bought a new car? It’s a Nissan primera 1995 1.6 GLX, I decided to call Yalda because the night before was shab-e-yalda, that means the longest night of the year and ofcourse the shortest day of the year, and to congratulate her with “her” night. So I did and because of all the fuss with the car and the traffic jam and her annoying sister asking her what she wanted to drink and who I was and all….I forgot all about congratulating her and said goodbye.
Tonight as I was waiting for the bus on my way back to home from work I called her up and said what I wanted to say yesterday and she was pleased to know that I was thinking of her. She told me about the practical joke she pulled on one of her friends “sarah”, an Iranian koerd, involving The IRS, which was pretty clever even though she blew it at the end. She asked me what I wanted to do this holiday and all and I told her about the family who’s visiting me and stuff. I told her I was kinda busy and all.half of this conversation happened in the car of my boss as he came to pick me up from the bus stop to drive me to the central station. Once we approached the station I told her I had to hang up and I’d call her when I got home and told her not to go to sleep until then, as I hate to wake people by phone. She said she’d sit on her bed and count the seconds but warned me to be fast.
I told her I’ll call before her count reaches 1 million!
Sunday, December 25, 2005
Monday, December 19, 2005
The girl in the train
This is the day I’m picking marouf from eindhoven airport….so I left class a bit early to be sure I make it on time…..so I take the train from blaak to Rotterdam central station…there I wait 15 minutes for an intercity which goes through dordrecht, breda, Tilburg and finally to eindhoven central where marouf will be waiting.
Once the intercity arrives and I want to get in…I let a beautiful girl which stands next to me go before me……and she smiles at me in a cute way that only those kinda girls can.
So a minute later I realize I’m sitting with her in a cabin of six…I’m sitting in the middle and she sits at my left next to the aile on the bench across the cabin. Once and a while she smiles at me and then looks away acting like she’s too shy…..but letting me notice she has noticed me…..and so do I. The trains approaches dordrecht and my heart is pounding in my throat hoping she will stay on and at one time we’ll be alone in the cabin so we can talk. She stays on. But she seems tired as she falls half asleep every 5 minutes. And the wakes up again looking at my reflection in the glass door. I look back and we both smile and look away. I take my wallet and get one of my cards. But I can’t give it to her right now…..I mean what if she ask outloud what is this….then everybody will notice us. So I put it between the two half of my wallet so I can reach it quickly and without hassle if I get the chance to give it to her. I put my wallet back in my pocket.
I can’t take my eyes off her…..she’s such a classic beauty….what a great god.
I’m hypnotized by her eyes and the way she plays around with her hair. I can almost taste her scent. It’s an aphrodisiac as no other. Then out of the sudden she gets her bag…opens it, takes her scarf and puts it on….zips up her coat and sits there. By this time I have already guessed she’s getting off the train at breda. But I can’t let that happen….I will not be able to forgive myself for not having done anything. So I’m contemplating whether to go after her or not as the train stops. So when she stands up and leaves the cabin I go after her to hand her my card in the aile….but it’s too crowded I’ll never reach her…so I rush back to the cabin….get my coat and my laptop and run out of the cabin through the aile and off the train. For a moment I can’t find her. That’s impossible!!! where did she go? And then I see her walking towards the staircase. I run to her and tap her on the shoulder. The only things that comes to my mind is “hey” and I reach down to my wallet and grab my card single handedly while saying “ik kon je zo niet laten gaan” and I hand her my card “bel je me?” and lost in oblivion all she can bring up is “das goed”. I tell her “ik moet gaan sorry, ik moet mijn trein halen” she says “ok” , still in shock. And we try to kiss each other on the cheek and after three times I kiss her on the cheek and run towards the train I just got out of. Convinced I can still make it. But clearly I am mistaking…the train is already moving when I open the door and the hydraulic piston is a bit stronger than I am and forces the door to close.
I ran down the stairs and ask when the next train will be leaving for eindhoven because, as you remember, I still have to pick up marouf from eindhoven. The next train leaves in half an hour. I AM FUCKED. He’ll be there in 20 minutes. So I sit on a bench on the platform and call him up telling him I missed a train so I’ll be a bit late. He says he’ll wait in the station. I’m not sure how this will work out but one thing I’m sure of is this: At least I won’t have to live with doubt about what would have happened if I had talked to her. I’m making progress. I hope she calls. More than anything I want her to call me.
While I’m writing this I’m still in te train on my way to pick marouf up from eindhoven I’ll be arriving in 10 minutes. We’ll see what happens.
Once the intercity arrives and I want to get in…I let a beautiful girl which stands next to me go before me……and she smiles at me in a cute way that only those kinda girls can.
So a minute later I realize I’m sitting with her in a cabin of six…I’m sitting in the middle and she sits at my left next to the aile on the bench across the cabin. Once and a while she smiles at me and then looks away acting like she’s too shy…..but letting me notice she has noticed me…..and so do I. The trains approaches dordrecht and my heart is pounding in my throat hoping she will stay on and at one time we’ll be alone in the cabin so we can talk. She stays on. But she seems tired as she falls half asleep every 5 minutes. And the wakes up again looking at my reflection in the glass door. I look back and we both smile and look away. I take my wallet and get one of my cards. But I can’t give it to her right now…..I mean what if she ask outloud what is this….then everybody will notice us. So I put it between the two half of my wallet so I can reach it quickly and without hassle if I get the chance to give it to her. I put my wallet back in my pocket.
I can’t take my eyes off her…..she’s such a classic beauty….what a great god.
I’m hypnotized by her eyes and the way she plays around with her hair. I can almost taste her scent. It’s an aphrodisiac as no other. Then out of the sudden she gets her bag…opens it, takes her scarf and puts it on….zips up her coat and sits there. By this time I have already guessed she’s getting off the train at breda. But I can’t let that happen….I will not be able to forgive myself for not having done anything. So I’m contemplating whether to go after her or not as the train stops. So when she stands up and leaves the cabin I go after her to hand her my card in the aile….but it’s too crowded I’ll never reach her…so I rush back to the cabin….get my coat and my laptop and run out of the cabin through the aile and off the train. For a moment I can’t find her. That’s impossible!!! where did she go? And then I see her walking towards the staircase. I run to her and tap her on the shoulder. The only things that comes to my mind is “hey” and I reach down to my wallet and grab my card single handedly while saying “ik kon je zo niet laten gaan” and I hand her my card “bel je me?” and lost in oblivion all she can bring up is “das goed”. I tell her “ik moet gaan sorry, ik moet mijn trein halen” she says “ok” , still in shock. And we try to kiss each other on the cheek and after three times I kiss her on the cheek and run towards the train I just got out of. Convinced I can still make it. But clearly I am mistaking…the train is already moving when I open the door and the hydraulic piston is a bit stronger than I am and forces the door to close.
I ran down the stairs and ask when the next train will be leaving for eindhoven because, as you remember, I still have to pick up marouf from eindhoven. The next train leaves in half an hour. I AM FUCKED. He’ll be there in 20 minutes. So I sit on a bench on the platform and call him up telling him I missed a train so I’ll be a bit late. He says he’ll wait in the station. I’m not sure how this will work out but one thing I’m sure of is this: At least I won’t have to live with doubt about what would have happened if I had talked to her. I’m making progress. I hope she calls. More than anything I want her to call me.
While I’m writing this I’m still in te train on my way to pick marouf up from eindhoven I’ll be arriving in 10 minutes. We’ll see what happens.
Saturday, December 17, 2005
Public transport
This girl in the train …..she’s sitting right in front of me…..she has something sweet about her……some kind of innocence that is quite rare these days……she’s dressed in black jeans and purple shirt and scarf……reading her book……she’s not the beautiful type that is blindly adored these days….she’s more a classic beauty…something we’ll all like…..once and a while the other girl sitting a bit further distracts me with her wild and loud conversations….but every time again I manage to focus on the girl in purple…..quiet…..beautiful….(looks)smart….and educated.
My problem is should I talk to her and very probably ruin the whole experience or should I let it remain a mystery?
With my laptop on my lap writing this story I try to not let her notice I’m intrigued by her and I think I’m doing quite a good job on that one.
The other girl again…..she’s more the modern girl with loud and wild stories and experiences. Somehow I don’t care for them….
All I’m interested in is the girl in purple….
What is her name?
Who is she?
Where is she going?
How old is she?
What’s her book about?
And what does “3139” mean? This is written on her hand.
Is she really as fantastic and fabulous and great like I imagine her to be?
Ticket control
The first time I hear her speak and she sounds just as I wanted her to…..sweet…innocent and nice.
Where was I? Yes I remember again…will I ever know these things?
The more I try to avoid looking at her, the greater the temptation gets. What is it with her? Is it because she’s unreachable? Is it her innocence? Is it her beauty?
I guess I’ll never know….cause I’m too tired ……too bad dressed……and too cowardly to talk to her in a cabin full of people.
What is it with me?
Well I guess that’s also a question we’ll probably never get an answer to……
Train stops…..she puts her coat on and zips it up….puts her backpack on, stands up and walks away. I’m still sitting there in the same seat. Looking at where she used to sit. Wondering whether I should have done or said something.
Two stops after she got off.
It’s my stop. I don’t feel like standing up and walking away. I shut my laptop down and put it back in the bag. I button up my coat and put my scarf around my neck. It’s cold all of the sudden. I grab my bag and get off the train.
Just another day in public transport.
My problem is should I talk to her and very probably ruin the whole experience or should I let it remain a mystery?
With my laptop on my lap writing this story I try to not let her notice I’m intrigued by her and I think I’m doing quite a good job on that one.
The other girl again…..she’s more the modern girl with loud and wild stories and experiences. Somehow I don’t care for them….
All I’m interested in is the girl in purple….
What is her name?
Who is she?
Where is she going?
How old is she?
What’s her book about?
And what does “3139” mean? This is written on her hand.
Is she really as fantastic and fabulous and great like I imagine her to be?
Ticket control
The first time I hear her speak and she sounds just as I wanted her to…..sweet…innocent and nice.
Where was I? Yes I remember again…will I ever know these things?
The more I try to avoid looking at her, the greater the temptation gets. What is it with her? Is it because she’s unreachable? Is it her innocence? Is it her beauty?
I guess I’ll never know….cause I’m too tired ……too bad dressed……and too cowardly to talk to her in a cabin full of people.
What is it with me?
Well I guess that’s also a question we’ll probably never get an answer to……
Train stops…..she puts her coat on and zips it up….puts her backpack on, stands up and walks away. I’m still sitting there in the same seat. Looking at where she used to sit. Wondering whether I should have done or said something.
Two stops after she got off.
It’s my stop. I don’t feel like standing up and walking away. I shut my laptop down and put it back in the bag. I button up my coat and put my scarf around my neck. It’s cold all of the sudden. I grab my bag and get off the train.
Just another day in public transport.
Tuesday, December 13, 2005
Samantha
So yeah...I did meet samantha and I did tell her I couldn't tolerate her when she opened her mouth. So the only way I wanted to be with her was if we had only a physical realtionship with each other .....no strings attached.....she kinda accepted...she's still babbling about her ex...some chris guy.....anyway those tricks don't work on me....I'll never get jealous of people I don't want to be with in the first place.
So we'll see what happens......I hope I can be with her in that way some time soon....I haen't had any for a while.....I kinda miss it somehow....
well I'll let you know how it turns out
So we'll see what happens......I hope I can be with her in that way some time soon....I haen't had any for a while.....I kinda miss it somehow....
well I'll let you know how it turns out
All those girls
Ok ok let's not get carried away but am I experiencing a peak again in my life?I mean how is it possible that samantha, yalda and ellaha are paying so much attntion to me?
I mean I hadn't talked to yalda for a month and I definitely didn't think she wanted to talk to me and tonight she messaged me all out of the blue.And we talked for such a long time.I still like her....her characte is so appealing to me....but who am I kidding.....she's not intrested is she?
And what about samantha......all she needs is for me to fuck her brains out......then she'll know how to act and how to react normally.......
well and there is ellaha.....heheheh.....a small grin can't be avoided.....How could I do that? after that whole thing with Jess.....I have ruined that but she wasn't worth it anyway....but with her it's different.....I really like her....she's different than all the others......she looks like a nobody but she's so clever and smart and above all mature. That is something I really appreciate in a girl/woman.
Anyway like I said all I want to do is to have a girlfriend like yalda.....a fuck buddy like samantha and a wife like ellaha....then everything will be fine.
Jus like a great man once said:
"We are teh middle children of history man, we have no purpose nor place"
I mean I hadn't talked to yalda for a month and I definitely didn't think she wanted to talk to me and tonight she messaged me all out of the blue.And we talked for such a long time.I still like her....her characte is so appealing to me....but who am I kidding.....she's not intrested is she?
And what about samantha......all she needs is for me to fuck her brains out......then she'll know how to act and how to react normally.......
well and there is ellaha.....heheheh.....a small grin can't be avoided.....How could I do that? after that whole thing with Jess.....I have ruined that but she wasn't worth it anyway....but with her it's different.....I really like her....she's different than all the others......she looks like a nobody but she's so clever and smart and above all mature. That is something I really appreciate in a girl/woman.
Anyway like I said all I want to do is to have a girlfriend like yalda.....a fuck buddy like samantha and a wife like ellaha....then everything will be fine.
Jus like a great man once said:
"We are teh middle children of history man, we have no purpose nor place"
Sunday, December 11, 2005
I wish...
I wish we could return to those days we took pictures and acted foolish like there was no sorrow, like there was no tomorrow. I wish we could return to those days I was a lucky boy and you were a shy girl and you sat on my lap for half an hour with my friends just because I asked you to. I wish we had never changed. (Just the thing you wanted me to do)
I wish I was the one to embrace you. I wish I was the one you could fall asleep in his arms. I wish I wish I wish.....
I wish I could be everything that you see
How I wish you'd believe in your innocent dreams.
Broken hearts and shattered dreams
I wish I had a magic to paste them back together
Oh I wish we'd still be friends
I wish I was all you wanted me to be
I wish I could give you all that you needed
I wish I was.......
I wish I was the one to embrace you. I wish I was the one you could fall asleep in his arms. I wish I wish I wish.....
I wish I could be everything that you see
How I wish you'd believe in your innocent dreams.
Broken hearts and shattered dreams
I wish I had a magic to paste them back together
Oh I wish we'd still be friends
I wish I was all you wanted me to be
I wish I could give you all that you needed
I wish I was.......
Thursday, December 01, 2005
So what do you think?
Should I call samanatha and ask ehr to be my fuck buddy?
Is that in any way justified?
Hmmm let me know
Is that in any way justified?
Hmmm let me know
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