One of those night

Yes tonight is again one of those nights, a night which you never seem to like ...but yet cannot wait to experince as all truth comes floating on top and all the lies sink to the bottom.....well in that view tonight wasn't such a night...I only came to know my best friend is embarressed for me and won't even talk to me....well...I have had too many of those haven't I? haha I only can laugh at these facts and it's not even a real laughter either....it's an ironic one if you've ever heard one....
well every dog has his day....mine is kinda far away I guess....or maybe non existent...
however...this is one game I'm tired of playing.....
too many lies...lie on top of another lie
I can't take it anymore...the only things that prevents me to cry it all out is the thought that this might be very well what they're aiming for and that's something I'm not going to give them...even though I may be destroying myself from inside...I won't let them have this pleasure.... not while I'm still alive.....NEVER.
cynical and ironical hints and remarks....I can't take it anymore.......a bridge or a skyscraper doesn't seem so odd anymore...it doesn't seem so farfetched anymore...it even seems reasonable.....it seems to be the only solution right now......but my will...(ooh goddamn my will) prevents me from doing it....
one day I'll give in to this urge......mark my words....