What is it with me?

what is it with me??
...yeah I had a predecision about Y.....I realised today......
she is not my Lucy.......At least she is Lucy.....but she isn't mine
I made the mistake and asked her what was it that we had.....and she told me she can't be with me though she loves me.....(yeah right).....she tells me that she doesn't want to lie to her family about seeing me ....and that she chooses family above love....(what the hell is that?) come on.....
well I'm glad I wasn't too enthusiastic about her and didn't tell T-tje about her...I might have lost her...which I can't afford to do....she's too good to loose.....she's even too good for me I guess :P hahaha .....I mean good in a bad way....I mean good as conservative.....in that aspect...Y was totally my type of girl.....totally european kinda girl....I loved it....too bad it's over and she isn't like Iv......cause if she was we could still be friends and hang out...but she is just like other girls in that sorta thing.......that's why I like Iv more than her.......though Y tastes like strawberries and I have never tasted Iv ......