Wanting to leave

Fuck this shit...
I'm fucking tired of this life
I'm just ONE person....I'm almost 20 years old.....and still
I live with my parents and have a room no bigger than 6 m2.
and every night I have the urge to cry my eyes out and put a bullet through my brain.
I'm fucking tired of all this shit....this isn't life....this is hell
no this is worse......hell is atleast warm.....
I'm sooo alone......and a countdown to freedom doesn't help much...it only reminds me of how much longer I have to suffer....
haven't I suffered enough?
how much can a person take?
I'm losing it all
I'm losing everyone
I'm losing everything

Sometimes I just wanna jump down from a bridge to the grey asfalt of the highway.....but I'm too much of a coward to go through with it.....
If she wants me once I'm there....I guess I'll never come back again.
I hate this life.....I hate this country.....I hate these people.......I hate it all
everybody is going somewhere and though I'm running all day long.....I never get one step forward.
Fuck it all......I'm really going away in May!