Angel with dirty face

Once you get over certain obstacles things seem easy for a while untill the next bigger obstacle comes on your way.So as I tried desperately to get to sleep last night I could not shake the idea of how I would react and behave in the future.
Then I remembered something I had done just the night before.

I had switched on my laptop and there she was: "Angel with dirty face" telling me how sorry she was for what happenned in London.And the most confrontitional part of it was actually what I said back: "don't worry, don't think about it, I'm not angry or upset"

And once I had thought about that it kinda suited my mind because I know what I have shared in the past with "Angel with dirty face" and how normal we still interacted. And to acknowledge that fact and that fact alone I could get to sleep much easier.

Though the only thought I haven't been able to evacuate from my mind has been what she'll be thinking today....
was it good?
was it right?
would she do it again?
was it as meaningless as she said?

but now that I am writing this I am starting to wonder why, I, the most caring and affectionate and most of all emotional guy I could imagine any guy could be(without being gay that is hehehe), could be sooo cold?
Really even in my days in Leiden I did not encounter something like this, even though Leiden didn't and doesn't mean absolutely nothing to me.

But answers present themselves don't they? ;)